inner kingdom

Mortality, I sense it.

This summer we traveled to Texas to participate in my aunts 90th birthday celebration. I love my family and we utilize every available opportunity to get together. This unique group extends beyond the sisters and brothers but includes great uncles and aunts and their children as well. In fact, my grandfather and his siblings were so close that their children have retained relationships over the four generations.

I miss my mom

As I prepared to go, my thoughts went to my mom. She would have been 86 this year. I miss hearing her voice, calling her at all times of the day, and just knowing that I had her wise counsel on speed dial. But I had to be realistic, parents don’t live forever. In fact, none of us do.

The sober sixties

I am now at the age where I look back over my shoulder and there are more years behind than ahead. Don’t get me wrong, life is wonderful. I have many reasons to press forward. I have dreams to fulfill, hearts to love, a legacy to establish. But it is sobering to think that one day, I’ll be a memory too. I don’t dwell on it yet it fuels me. I want to accomplish my dreams. Everything now has a sense of urgency on one hand but a clarity of purpose on the other. I am not going to just work, oh no, I have people to love, moments to share, kind words to speak to strangers. Living life with intensity, that is the sobering part. When we are young we waste so much time being someone else, wanting things without value, holding grudges, filling life with unnecessary drama. I am smiling because all of that mindset is gone now.

I am raising my daughter to have a soberness about life in hopes of her finding her purpose. I want her to see herself as a divine contributor to her class, school, community, family, and world. There are so many lacking thoughtfulness in her age group that she could easily grow up without understanding that all children do not have a home or food. She has to learn about discrimination and hate so that she can be empowered to demonstrate her loving inner strength to cowards. This world cannot afford the upcoming generations to ‘learn’ compassion on the fly, we have to awaken it now in the hearts of our children. They can change this trajectory of the planet if given a chance.

Honestly, this line of thinking is normal for me. I have always had a tinge of seriousness about life. In fact, I have learned to be more serendipity, to just let life flow as I have gotten older. Life is sobering because from the moment we are born, our destination is approaching. We thrive by thinking about the good things. Let’s be good to one another.


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